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The Inaugural “Who Cares?” Awards


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Another year, another awards show. Proclamations of a shady Recording Academy are stated. Shortly after, a boycott of the awards show is announced. Fast forward a calendar year and we’re right back to step one. Are you really surprised people? What were you expecting? Every album of your liking taking Grammy’s home? Hahahahaha. The Grammy’s are nothing more than a pop music awards, so let’s stop getting mad at winners and losers.

So here’s my Hip Hop Sense Grammy. My “Who Cares?” Awards. With about as much prestige as an umm…modern-day Grammy. All winners shall receive a red Dixie cup in the mail.

First category:

Best New Artist:

Kendrick Lamar

Macklemore

Lorde

Haim

Macklemore-1

Seriously, why should anyone else win? Broaden your scope a tad bit here: A guy who was virtually unknown two years ago goes platinum off an independent album? Who else is more deserving? Yes, I know we all hate that terrible “Thrift Shop” but let’s give props where they’re due.

Best Rap Album

Kendrick Lamar-Good Kid, m.a.a.d. City

Wale-The Gifted

Jay-Z-Magna Carta, Holy Grail

J. Cole-Born Sinner

Drake-Nothing Was the Same

wpid-KendrickGKMC.jpg

GKMC pleased both the hip hop heads and mainstream alike. Very rare for a hip-hop album. If there was a category for “Please Retire” then MCHG would win by a landslide. Also, If “Please Don’t Make Another Album this Corny Again” was a category, NWTS would blow everyone out the frickin water.

Best R&B Album:

Justin Timberlake-20/20 Experience  (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

Robin Thicke-Blurred Lines

Mayer Hawthorne-Where Does This Door Go?

Miguel-Kaleidoscope Dream

Janelle Monae-Electric Lady

mayer-hawthorne-where-does-this-door-go-press-300

Redirect any disputes to the video below. This album jams.

Best Alternative Album:

(Yep, I’m dumping everything into this category)

Daft Punk-Random Access Memories

Haim-Days Are Gone

Arcade Fire-Reflektor

Tame Impala-Lonerism

Beach House-Bloom

Quadron-Avalanche

Toro y Moi-Anything in Return

Tame_Impala_Lonerism_Cover

One of the coolest album covers of 2012, one of the coolest lead singles of 2012 and simply one of the coolest albums of 2012. If no one else wants to remember you, Lonerism, I’ll make them remember you.

Best Rock Album:

qotsa

Queens of the Stone Age-…Like Clockwork

Yea…no contest. AT ALL. I didn’t even list other nominees.

Album of the Year:

Queens of the Stone Age-…Like Clockwork

Arcade Fire-Reflektor

Haim-Days Are Gone

Mayer Hawthorne-Where Does This Door Go?

Kendrick Lamar-Good Kid, m.a.a.d. City

wpid-KendrickGKMC.jpg

From the outside looking in, no hip hop album is usually good enough to win a Grammy. Then again, why expect people who don’t know hip-hop to know what makes good hip-hop? Then take that and apply it to the bigger picture. How could a hip hop album ever be better than [insert album here]? Well, GKMC is as good as they come. A modern-day classic in fact. Plenty of great music came out this past 12 months, but none really had the effect on me that GKMC has. And it takes home my Album of the Year award for this reason.

And because we don’t want anyone to go home empty-handed…

Worst Album of the Year

Kanye West-Yeezus

A$AP Ferg-Trap Lord (This guy sucks so much)

Big Sean-Hall of Fame (This album should’ve been named Hall of LAME! Amirite? Amirite? Oh…ok)

Justin Timerlake-That Other 20/20 Experience (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ x2)

Tyga-…anything Tyga has rapped on in a calendar year. Because Tyga sucks.

kanye-west-yeezus-tracklist

Enough of focusing on what the Academy got wrong (like we do every year) and more focus on what they got right. Yeezus was omitted and righteously so. This is still the worst album I’ve heard in my life. It sounds like  a barrel of bricks rolling down a really big hill. And cars are parked at the bottom of that hill. And not like, really big cars either. But smart cars. Lots of smart cars. Why? I don’t know, smart cars suck and they deserve to get ran over by this album.

The point of this post is to show you how to say screw the Academy and their agenda. Like what YOU like. These awards suck anyway. If nothing else, we’ll keep watching them for hilarious twitter commentary.

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