TV/Movies

Dear Hollywood, I’m Sick of Your Shit


No idea under the sun is original. Your favorite thing is likely influenced by the creator’s favorite thing. This will become someone’s favorite thing and influence them to create someone’s favorite thing. The cycle repeats.

With that said, there are two things I hate the more than anything else in entertainment: Bad Boy remixes and movie reboots.

In the age of Netflix, Amazon Prime, etc. we’re getting content thrown at us at rates never seen before. Bigly. Huge. Tremendous. Some content is original but original content takes too much work. <sarcasm>You gotta give the people what they want and reboot some shit!</sarcasm>

In a span of 12 months, there has been a Rush Hour reboot, Lethal Weapon reboot, Training Day reboot (RIP Bill Paxton), Baywatch reboot, CHiPs reboot, a Scarface reboot that’s actually a reboot of a reboot. Somehow, none of these is even the dumbest reboot idea.

Earlier this week, a reboot of The Matrix was announced and this news just cooked my damn goose. If you know me by now, and you should, you know how much I LOVE The Matrix. If you want me to sit down with you and break down the scene with The Architect, I can. This offer is open if you choose to accept.

ReloadedMatrix.png

The Matrix season as a whole is imperfect, but it’s a sci-fi cult classic. Let’s talk about this world “cult” for a minute. I don’t mean wearing robes and drinking the kool-aid, I mean that feeling you get when someone says they’re a Matrix fan too and you guys bond over a conversation. Yes, it’s nostalgia, but this nostalgia means a lot to the fans. It makes it impossible to reboot cult classics because you just had to be there for the cult classics. Just to clarify, this Matrix reboot isn’t a true reboot but it’s an expansion of the property.

I still don’t want this.

If you know anything about the Matrix, you know Neo sacrificed himself and broke the code. He killed the Matrix and took the corrupt virus, Agent Smith, with him. Now unless these movies are prequels, this is one hell of a hole to write yourself out of. The decisions made here seem pretty final to me. Maybe they’re prequels? But I’m not really a fan of prequels either.

I’m sure the die-hard Star Wars fan gained absolutely nothing from Episodes I-III (and maybe even The Force Awakens, but shhhh I didn’t say that). These reboots and expansions dilute the product. I know I have absolutely no stake in these properties. I don’t have them locked away in a vault for my personal safekeeping. But the memories are mine. The classics should be left alone to stand the test of time because they mean a lot to the fans.

So, Hollywood, I’m sick of your shit, ok? Please don’t reboot The Matrix. Please.

Please.

Please.

Please?

[PS, while you’re in the rebooting mood, you can reboot The Shadow and The Phantom. I care]

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