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NFL Week 15 Power Rankings – Eli Maynening Edition


Aye mane

Terrance Howard was supposed to be in the new Fast and Furious mane, because of that Twitter had some fun mane. So that’s how I’m categorizing these rankings mane.

Enjoy mane.

Tier #6: 

 

#32. Cleveland Browns – Blew a fourteen point lead at home mayne.

#31. New York Giants – I have nothing left to say about them, the damage has been done, just get to the offseason.

#30. Indianapolis Colts – Jacoby Brissett shooting for a job next year and I don’t blame him. Someone pray for Andrew Luck

#29. Denver Broncos – I should give them more credit for beating an overachieving Jets team but I’m not

#28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Live by the “players coach”, die by the “players coach”

#27. Houston Texans – They go from Tom Savage to TJ Yates which is kind of an upgrade, so…..hope Savage gets better though cause that hit was crazy….which reminds me that concussion protocol is crap because there is NO WAY he should have been back in that game.

#26. Chicago Bears – John Fox is Jeff Fisher with a Super Bowl ring. DEBATE ME.

TIER #5

 

#25. San Francisco 49ers – Slowly improving and a lot of that is because of Garropolo, so good for him.

#24. Washington NFL Team – Who did they play this week? I forgot.

#23. Cincinnati Bengals – Okay, to be honest they should be much lower but everyone down this low is mid anyway, so….

#22. New York Jets – Was hoping that we’d get the “HOLY CRAP HOW DID THE JETS MAKE THE PLAYOFFS” moments in a few weeks, but that’s not going to happen. Overperformed like hell and saved Bowles’s job.

#21. Oakland Raiders – Man, they’re playing like 2003-2015 Raiders

#20. Kansas City Chiefs – No idea how they’re still on top of the AFC West. They got lucky that the Chargers started 0-4.

TIER #4

#19. Miami Dolphins – I almost had them in the low 20s and then they did whatever the hell they just did against New England and that bought them like 5 spots.

#18. Tennessee Titans – They’re honestly a pretty bad football team, but they bought themselves a few bad games by having a great start to the season and the AFC is very bad so they can still hold onto that 5-seed.

#17. Arizona Cardinals – Blaine Gabbert isn’t balling, but he’s not being Blaine Gabbert and that’s like the best thing you could ask for honestly.

#16. Dallas Cowboys – America’s Team is accurate because they’re falling apart just like our country. Those clicks you heard were all two people who have been reading our posts and haven’t realized we can’t stand Trump clicking off our website. #StopPoliticizingEverything

#15. Buffalo Bills – See what happens when you let Joe Webb take control? He might throw a bad interception, but he’s got you later. If Tyrod isn’t ready let him have Miami and sit him down after that.

#14. Detroit Lions – They beat a bad Tampa team and have been middling for the last 7 weeks, they’re not getting a wildcard spot, no matter what happens, either the NFC South takes them both or

#13. Green Bay Packers – These guys surprise the fudge out of everyone.

TIER #3

#12. Los Angeles Chargers – I hope this makes you angry, I hope it triggers you. Anthony Lynn deserves Coach of the Year if they can finish this and win the West.

#11. Baltimore Ravens – I had them down for the count a few weeks ago, now here we are with them having a good shot at a postseason run. I’m no longer sure about the “they can beat the Patriots” comments though.

#10. Seattle Seahawks – Imagine if Russell Wilson had help.

#09. New Orleans Saints – Oh Dear God, please stop whining. Yes, the NFL should’ve vetted that crew better to make sure a former Falcons player wasn’t calling the game, but you got 3 additional opportunities courtesy of Matt Ryan making a few boneheaded decisions and you still couldn’t capitalize.

#08. Atlanta Falcons – Speaking of which, the strength of this team has shifted from offense to defense and that might benefit them in the long run.

TIER 2

#07. Los Angeles Rams – Their defense is going to be their biggest liability, that and penalties. Could be the reason for a first round exit.

#06. Minnesota Vikings – Injuries affected that game, but you still got beat bud.

#05. Carolina Panthers – Carolina fluctuates between a top tier team and the middle of the pack team each week.

TIER #1

#04. Jacksonville Jaguars – Blake Bortles plays like that every week and they’re in Minnesota come February. I’m so serious bro.

#03. New England Patriots – They won’t lay another egg like that again.

#02. Philadelphia Eagles – Did you see some of the throws Foles made to close that game out? They’re still in this thing and could easily find themselves hosting the NFC Championship game.

#01. Pittsburgh Steelers – I can’t think of a clear cut #1 team, they’ll just kind of have to do. But do note that there are GLARING deficiencies in this team, notably lack of consistency running the ball and defense.

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