Since these are the last set of NFL rankings for 2017 (Week 17 will be posted next week…which is 2018), I figured I would recap a few things that blew up in 2017 that probably need to stay there.
Tier #6: Salt Bae
#32. Cleveland Browns – I understand why people think Hue Jackson should be fired, even a Lion in a tracksuit would win more than one game in two years, but I don’t think it can be overstated how bad the Browns offensive roster is (at QB).
#31. New York Giants – If we ignore them, maybe they’ll go away
#30. Houston Texans – I cannot fathom in my mind how Bill O’Brien was talked out of signing Kaepernick. Cannot fathom (I can).
#29. Indianapolis Colts – Imagine trading for Jacoby Brissett when Jimmy Garropolo was still on the roster. Imagine the shakeup that would’ve occurred if Jimmy went to Indy and Luck got the boot via trade.
#28. Denver Broncos – No comment
#27. Chicago Bears – John Fox in Marvin Lewis vacation mode.
Tier #5: “Keep that same energy”
#26. Cincinnati Bengals – Can’t tell if they rose up to defend Marvin Lewis’s honor or if the Lions are just that weird.
#25. Miami Dolphins – Lost in all this is the fact that Jay Cutler is going to walk away with $10 million dollars.
#24. Washington – Kirk Cousins has to be LIVID that his payday in San Francisco is going down the drain, guess he’ll have to settle for Colorado….
#23. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – This franchise does NOT deserve Jameis Winston.
#22. Arizona Cardinals – Drew Stanton balled out on the Giants and I hope that ownership doesn’t goad whoever takes Arians place (if he retires) to keep him.
#21. Green Bay Packers – Aaron Rodgers is the most expensive band-aid to ever exist.
Tier #4: Twitter threads with fake stories
#20. New York Jets – Team has outplayed expectations and I hope they finally give Todd Bowles the roster he deserves.
#19. Oakland Raiders – Come sit over here and let’s talk about Derek Carr’s regression.
#18. Tennessee Titans – They’re about to lay down into the playoffs because Jacksonville is likely going to rest starters.
#17. Dallas Cowboys – Fam. Dak said he’s got to put the ball in Dez’s facemask in order for him to catch it. FAM.
#16. San Francisco 49ers – I know what their record says, but you cannot deny that Jimmy G has elevated this team and a few pieces in the offseason could make them favorites in the NFC West.
#15. Buffalo Bills – They put up ugly wins and even uglier losses.
Tier #3: Roy Moore
#14. Detroit Lions – They’ve really been wasting Matthew Stafford’s entire career and it’s pretty sad.
#13. Seattle Seahawks – Russell only threw for 92 yards and they still won. Damn the Cowboys are trash.
#12. Baltimore Ravens – Still a team to watch out for in the AFC, especially in the divisional round against New England
#11. Los Angeles Chargers – IF they can get in, they MIGHT be able to do some damage. Might.
#10. Atlanta Falcons – I’m sorry, that was supposed to go here. Add in if the offense gets clicking.
Tier #2 – iPhone vs. Android debates
#09. Kansas City Chiefs – Andy Reid dressed up as Santa Claus to deliver the announcement that the Chiefs were AFC West Champs. If they win the Super Bowl can he dress up as Cupid for the parade?
#08. Philadelphia Eagles – I was all aboard the “not so fast my friends” train when people were dooming them after Wentz’s injury. I’m off that train now. It’s careening off a cliff as we speak.
#07. New Orleans Saints – There’s a team in the NFC that can lineup favorable matchups against Kamara. The one that can do it can and will beat them.
#06. Jacksonville Jaguars – Ugly loss that exposed a lack of adjustments against the 9ers and poor discipline. If they return to form, they’ll be fine.
Tier #1: Faux Wokeness
#05. Los Angeles Rams – They’re in the same boats as the Saints, they’ll roll until someone slows Gurley down. Then it’s over.
#04. Pittsburgh Steelers – I legitimately don’t know how far they’ll go. They could lose to the Jaguars in the 2nd round, they could make a Super Bowl run, I honestly cannot put a pin on this team.
#03. Carolina Panthers – I know they lost twice to the Saints, I know that, but you cannot convince me they’ll lose a 3rd time. This team has hit its stride.
#02. Minnesota Vikings – I pray, PRAY that Zimmer doesn’t consider putting Bradford back in, roll with what got you here.
#01. New England Patriots – Unlike last year and earlier this year, I feel like there are multiple AFC teams that can stop them and by multiple I mean 3: PIT, BAL, JAC.